In his powerful emotionally
moving book, “Will
I Go To Heaven?: The Black Gay Spiritual Dilemma”,
author Tuan N’Gai ponders the following: “is it
possible that God made same gender loving people unique and
extremely gifted? Is it possible that God gave same gender
loving people His supernatural ability to create, excel, and
an affinity for making things beautiful?
God has a purpose for same gender loving people other than
destruction. I find that to be no mystery. Most of the same
gender loving people I’ve met are more often than not,
highly skilled and anointed musicians, innovative educators,
brilliant lawyers and accountants, profound ministers, superior
athletes, or the most compelling artists.”
As we discussed earlier, the only distinction between the
homosexual Christian and the heterosexual Christian is their
personhood as expressed through their sexual orientation.
However, there is often still something uniquely different
or enhanced about the spirituality of many Gay/Lesbian Christians.
The intensity, fervor, and passion of our spirituality along
with our subsequent blessings, talents, skills, career and
professional success is not at all an accident. God has definitely
blessed us in many significant and dynamic ways while we still
continue to remain very much Gay/Lesbian in our sexual orientation
and behavior. Although many of us will never marry or ever
reproduce, we are still blessed with talents and skills that
only others can dream about.
Why is that? If we indeed are such a cursed class of people
with no redeeming values, morals or substance, then why do
we continue to succeed, overcome, and endure? Why does God
continue to see fit to breathe intelligence and creativity
in us down through the generations; a class of people who
supposedly can’t or won’t ever inherit the kingdom?
For this reason, it helps to take a look at the bible to see
examples of other individuals who possessed similar characteristics
to our own.
There are many who believe that at least some of the eunuchs
of the bible were possibly gay men. The bible describes eunuchs
as being “….well favoured…skillful in all
wisdom, and cunning in knowledge and understanding science
(Daniel 1:4)” Eunuchs were men who were incapable, not
suitable or unfit for marriage by either birth, through castration,
or made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven as Jesus
explained in Matthew 19:10-12.
In fact throughout the bible eunuchs are described as trusted
officials with great responsibility and political power. They
were seen as treasurer keepers (Acts 8:27) and as advisers
for the king by providing spiritual sensitivity and wisdom.
In fact, Daniel and the Hebrew children were eunuchs in the
court of Nebuchadnezzar. There appear to be eunuchs in King
David’s court (I Chronicle 28:1) and eunuchs were also
present in Hezekiah’s court (Isaiah 56:3-4).
Since they posed no sexual threat, eunuchs also oversaw harems,
the protection for the wives of the king, and beauty treatments
for women making them presentable before the king. It is very
important to remember that not all biblical eunuchs can be
classified or even assumed to be gay. However, much like the
gay men of today, certain eunuchs were not fit, capable or
suitable for marriage directly from birth just as Jesus explained;
yet still they were brilliantly talented in many ways, just
as many gays of today are.
Whether it was a physical birth defect which prevented reproduction,
or in our case, a homosexual orientation which prevents us
from emotionally and romantically committing; in either case
we are both considered “unsuitable for marriage”,
although many gays/lesbians experiment and become trapped
in heterosexual marriages.
Further, Jesus stated that regardless of how one became
a eunuch either by birth, castration, or self-dedication,
let “he that is able to receive it, let him receive
it.” Finally, Jesus did not forbid any romantic loving
or sexual expression among or between the eunuchs anywhere
in this passage (Matthew 19:10-12): or elsewhere in the bible.
Hence our homosexuality in many definable and quantifiable
ways should actually be seen as a MAJOR BLESSING rather than
a sinful curse and thus should be celebrated as such. Yep
you read correctly!
Our homosexuality is a major blessing, but a blessing gift-wrapped
tightly with razor sharp thorns and swords. Throughout our
entire lives we’ve strategically attempted to unwrap
this highly unique gift paper, getting nicked, bloodied, and
bruised desperately trying to find the answers and the beauty
that lies within.
It is through this life long process across our individual
experiences as homosexuals, gay/lesbians, or same-gender-loving
individuals that actually bring us running closer to the Lord
and excelling in our walk in Christ.
Ironically, the very fact that we are a member of a shunned
group in society makes us acutely aware of the ministry in
which Jesus Christ founded and fully expects us to follow.
It prepares us to do the following:
Humble our lives, which in turn bring us into a closer relationship
with God as we accept and grow in the likeness of his son
Jesus Christ. As a shunned class, we will either run to God
or run away from him. Individuals like myself, who decided
to run to God, tend to pray more, study more, praise more,
and seek to understand God more than the average heterosexual.
In fact, we are brought to this point faster and more sincerely
than the average individual, who does not have to endure the
turmoil of homophobia and the fear of verbal, physical, career,
or financial retribution from family, friends, co-workers,
and the church.
This does NOT mean that God cannot use heterosexuals in his
purpose or his plan. It only means that gays/lesbians have
the potential of having a much more refined, enhanced, and
closer spiritual relationship with God than the average person
because of their oppressed and persecuted state in society,
much like the Black community during slavery times and the
segregation era that followed.
Sadly there are far too many homosexuals who have allowed
the homophobia and non-acceptance of our society to make them
run away from the Lord instead of making it run to him. As
a result, there are many gays/lesbians who do not recognize
God or accept his son Jesus.
This group definitely needs to be reached and uplifted so
that they too can experience the joy of life within the will
of God. I pray that this book and your own individual testimonies
as Gay/Lesbian Christians will be triumphant in accomplishing
As a result of our closer, more enhanced, elevated relationship
with God, we are often used by God through the anointing of
numerous spiritual gifts (chapter 15) from preaching, teaching,
singing, to the use of our special skills, talents and professions,
and an untold number of creative methods which are used for
sharing with others as we edify, magnify, and witness to God’s
word and its movement in our individual lives.
In short, gays/lesbians are often simply viewed as being
more talented than their heterosexual counterparts. Many of
us pursue the arts, technology, architecture, fashion, writing,
and are often seen as being the more creative, cutting-edge
side of life. In fact God often uses us to breathe life, color
and freshness into many situations around the world, past,
present and future. Many of the world’s greatest scholars
and accomplished individuals have indeed been gay/lesbian.
In fact many same-gender-loving people are actually multi-talented,
however, it takes a seeking after God in order for us to truly
grow into how and what God desires for our spiritual gifts,
special talents, skills, and professions.
Further, God can also utilize homosexuals along with many
other shunned classes of people probably more effectively
because we have the potential of possessing much more humility,
compassion, and unconditional love, which are the key attributes
of Jesus Christ.
Gays/Lesbians can successfully be used to go out into the
world and minister to others because we have been through
a whole lot ourselves in terms of self-loathing, fear, shame,
denial, depression, suicidal tendencies, drug and alcohol
abuse, and the bearing of the disgust and revile of society.
As openly same-gender-loving Christians, we are less timid
about reaching out to others and less concerned about what
other people think of us, because we know what truly matters
is what God thinks of us, not what man thinks.
Further, our ministry has the potential of being far more
powerful as we are stronger because we have endured and have
overcome by standing, walking and running on our faith (chapter
16), through our understanding, worship, praise, love and
enhanced spiritual relationship with God the Father and God
Consequently, this is the reason why there are so many gay/lesbian
pastors, bishops, ministers, deacons, trustees, missionaries,
and everyday Christians; many of whom are still in the closet,
but a growing number are now walking out of the closet of
secrecy and shame and allowing Jesus to shine through them
as Gay/Lesbian Christians.