Ask The Preacha  
  By: Tuan N' Gai of Tuan N'Gai Enterprises  
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I am a 23 year old female who has been in a pure, loving relationship with another female for three years. Our relationship is fantastic. We have decided that we want to walk with God and become life partners and start a family. The only thing holding us back is that my family doesn't know. I haven't told them because that means I would have to come out to my mother. My mother is Christian and has already told me she could not accept a child who was gay. I would love her blessing but right now I would settle for partial acceptance. How do I explain to her that this the way God made me and that I feel this is the person He meant for me to share my life with. Thanks

Longing for Mom

To Longing For Mom:

I know all too well what you are going through. Having someone to love is a joy that you want to share with everyone, especially those who are closest to you. It's painful to have something like love or joy to share and not be able to do so.

All you can do is live your life. My Big Mama used to say "baby, the only people who NEED to be happy with your life are you and God, you really can't please anyone else". I've found her words to be the truth. Be the best you that you can possibly be. Let God's unconditional love shine through you. Share that love with your family. If I may share a little of my testimony, my parents told me that if I have a partner, I couldn't bring him to their home and expect to sleep in the same bed with him because they don't condone same gender relationships. And though it kind of hurts that I can't share that joy with them, I have to respect their decision. It's their home, and when in their home, I must abide by their rules. So when it came time to make a decision about where I would spend holidays and the like, they understood when I chose to be with my partner. Hopefully you will not be put in that position, but it is a possibility.

As far as coming out to your mother is concerned, seek God on how to do that. When the time is right, you will have the courage to do it. Don't expect any type of reaction from her. You just might be surprised. Just pray that God prepare you to deal with whatever the reaction may be. She says she could not accept a child who was gay. The reality is, she loves you…you're her child. I'd venture to say that "mama knows". And she said what she said to not push you away, but in hopes that you would change. Continue to love her. Honor her. Show her that you are still her baby girl. Or as I was told when I went through this, "love the hell out of her". It's going to be a tough transition, but she will come around. She doesn't want to lose you. Love conquers all.

If you need further assistance on coming out to your family, I also suggest contact your local chapter of PFLAG or visiting their website. They provide advice and assistance with these matters.

I hope this helps. And I pray God's richest blessings on you, your family and your relationship.

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